SOOO, iV bEEN bEiN SOO bOREd ON MYSPACE
ANd i SEE ALL MY OLd FRiENdS FROM HAWAii.
i Add THEM.
THEN i START TO SEE THEY ALL STiLL
TALK ANd bE LiKE OH WERE ALL bEST FRiENdS
ANd iN HAWAii i WAS SUCH A NERd. i GUESS
iT WAS JUST MY dORKY YEARS. i THiNK
EVERYONE HAS THEM. WELL GOd CHOSE THE
WRONG TiME. NE WAYS, SO ALL AddiNG THEM
DiD WAS MAKE ME FEEL SO dAMN
UGLY ANd FRiENdLESS. =/
NOW i REMEMEbER WHY i DELETEd THEM
ANd THE THiNG iS WE dONT EVEN TALK!
THEY dONT TALK TO ME
EVEN WHEN i TALK TO THEM. SOME PPL
ARE SOOOO TWO FACEd. =/


HMM. dONT GET ME WRONG
i STiLL TALK TO MY bEST FRiENdS
bUT ALL THE OTHR LiKE CLOSE ONES
WE JUST dONT. =/
SOOO YUH. idK. HAWAii
iS JUST SOMETHiNG i WANT TO FORGET.
iT WAS dRAMA ANd TEARS ANd JUST EVERYTHiNG
GROWiNG UP iS SUPPOSE
TO bE. iT WAS ALMOST LiKE GOiN
TO SOME REMOTE iSLANd WiTH OTHER KiDS
MY AGE ANd GOiN THRU PUbERTY ANd STUFF
WiTH NO PARENTS OR RULES.


HAWAii WAS JUST CRAZEH.
ANd WHEN i THiNK AbOUT iT, i ALWAYS
FEEL LiKE SUCCHH A LOOOSER.
SO YEAH. THAT KiNDA PUT A dAMPER ON MY MOOd
ANd MY bOYFRiENdS FONE diEd
SO WE CANT TALK.
ANd LATELY i HAVE bEEN TO buSY
TO TALK TO HiM. OR SEE HiM.
=/


UURGGH.
THiNGS ARNT GOiN THE WAY i WANT THEM TO AT ALL.

SO EARLiER i WENT ALL OVER THE WORLd. WELL
FELT LiKE iT! i HAd TO GO bACK ANd FORTH TO
WALMART ANd FORT LEE. iT WAS FUNN!
i HUNG Wit MY CUZZiN ANd
MY AUNTiE. TOdAY WAS MUCH
bTTR. i CANT WAiT TiLL TOMMOROW.=]

so, im new to this whole thing. but here goes,
well today pretty much sucked. lately i have been excited for
this day to come. last day of school my dad and auntie
are here. and were pose to be having fun. before i move.
well not so much. my parents have been acting strange.
and its just wierd. like, they kiss which is pretty gross
and they want everything to center around them
i feel like saying sorry but your not 15 ne more.
you have kids and you cant just go off by yourselves
and act like you 21! you have responsibilities.
expecially a big one whos 8 yrs old. sometimes adults
can act so immature. anywho, while dealing with
the parents problem which i haven' quite
figured out yet, i have been avoiding them
and acting wierd. i dont know why but i just dont feel like
acting like everything is ok. so, my next thing is that,
one of my best friends is acting wierd too!
i think its a conspiracy. anywho,
slowly but surely we have been drifting apart. and
i dont think she cares. i dont know whats wrong
with her. i'm trying to care but i mean i guess im
drifting too. i think me and her arnt as close because i
have a bf. i have had one now for a month. and
i guess you can say thats when it all started.
so, hmm. but brings me to my next issue.
i am moving to new mexico blah blah.
and so he asked me if i would marry him
and so i guess were engaged if thats
how it goes. so anyway, i love him i really do
and hes just a chill person.
someone i dont have drama with we dont fight
its a pretty normal relationship.
i guess. usually my relatioships are pretty crazy.
but this is the first real calm one.
sooo, im a little worried about having a long distance relationship
because iv never been good at saying
im just going to be with one person
soooo, i dont want to hurt him, and im going to
try not to. so, hes 17 and im 16. i dont want to get
married until after high school. we both have 2 yrs to go.
and even then i dont know if
i'll be ready but i know he is. he's just one of those guys i guess.
so anywho. i dont really know what to say about
that situation. im just going to actually
try and make one of my relationships work.
i cant say im in love with him
but i mean in the past month i have learned to love him.
i really do love him. i could marry him because hes
just the thing i need. im so sick of the high
school drama. life being all about sex and playing games.
hes not like that at all. and on top pf that
i have fun with him he always always makes me laugh
and he makes me feel special. so anyway, we are going to see
eachother and visit until i graduate high school. my parents seem
ok with it but, they just seem like they dont really like him.
they say its going to take time cuz they dont know him
but i dont know. i think they are still hoping
i will get back with one of my ex's. but im here to tell you
thats never ever going to happen. so, anyways, well thats that.
i feel all wierd these past few days.
and i dont know how to fix it.
but maybe it'll just fix itself.
sometimes it does. =/

<3 jazzie<3

" i have a bad habbit of trying to save the world. you know, fix all the wrongs. even the things that arn't broken. but the only thing i should be trying to fix that is seriously broken is me. and somehow i try but i just never can. and the bandages on my heart heal me temporarily."